Mixed Business

state of the world

2008-07-22T19:55:00.001-07:00

after i read the newspaper i usually want a couple drinks.

fuck ohio

2008-07-07T19:03:00.001-07:00

my breath smells like cheese. this is good news for me because it means i just ate some cheese. this is bad news for everyone else because it means that my breath smells.

i haven't vacuumed yet and it's making me nervous. i get nervous sometimes when i don't vacuum. fuck carpet. and ohio, i really dislike ohio. but i dislike indiana even more. i'm going to write a message in a bottle and throw it in lake michigan. we'll see what happens.

but first! i will camp and make s'mores. :D

2008-06-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

lil wayne's tha carter sold A MILLION COPIES in ONE WEEK, and i can't even make it down 32 flights to run two miles. we will see what happens today. because i went bikini-hunting yesterday and realized I NEED TO HIT THAT GYM BAD.

piss

2008-05-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

oh. and.

last night, when i returned from work, i was on the elevator with an indian guy.
"are you an indian?" he asked me.

"i'm a lesbian," i responded.

haha! what am i doing

2008-05-12T22:42:00.001-07:00

i like typing things IN CAPS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL MORE POWERFUL.

i'm listening to gang of four and it's pretty much the opposite of how i'm feeling right now. except this song's pretty rad. sometimes i feel odd using my initials to describe how fucking sweet something is... but cmon i'm fuckin rad.

ehhhhhhhhhaskfghjadh
haha guess what?!11?11? actually i remember in second grade i always wondered whether i should end "guess what" with a question mark, because it's like, almost a question... but really it's a command. so.

GUESS WhAT!!!
i'm drunk

AND HEY
IF YOU'RE FUCKING READING THIS PIECE OF SHIT
STOP STALKING ME AND LEAVE ME AN EFFING COMMENTTTTTT
CAUSE I HATE HOW I AM SUBJECTING MYSELF TO THIS PERVERTED INTERNET WORLD WITHOUT ANY REAL VALIDATION... if i don't start getting comments i'm gonna start a webcam site where i dance around in my underwear and eat suckers seductively while surfin' da netz

Sudden Valley vs. Paradise Gardens

2008-04-27T18:47:00.000-07:00

Premarital relations

2008-04-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

"When I'm alone sometimes I stand in front of the mirror and stick my stomach out and pretend I'm pregnant." - K. R. Davis

Last night I managed to lose my last contact lens for my right eye. After acknowledging the reality that contacts are neither cheap nor readily-available (like cigarettes or tampons), I made an order from 1800CONTACTS. Hope that works in my favor because nothing is more frustrating to me than being stuck wearing my eyeglasses when the sun is beating down on my face.

But the real news here is--well I'm not going to say. Yeah it's a secret. And don't ask because this is something I enjoy keeping to myself. Great weekend, I'm failing school.

For flat-assed bitches (such as myself):

2008-04-22T17:18:00.000-07:00

BOOTY POP PANTIES!

They run for $28 bucks a pop (ha ha) and come in FOUR different colors. And Kelly Ripa wears them! Get them now before everyone else does!

So should I buy these or what?

PINK LIKE YO PUSSY

2008-04-20T19:44:00.001-07:00

Yeah well I had pink dye in my hair. It was hot. I got a job. Now I have tubs of purple and turquoise dye, black hair, a couple bleach kits--and a job that requires my hair to be "normal" colors. I'm sad.